You Can Dance
On my drive to work every morning I do the same thing. I sit in my car, eat my bag of cereal and observe people at red lights. Something changed this morning. It was me. I put in a little to much thought.
At a red light near I-4, I watched a lady who seemed to be in her mid forties jam away to her radio until her car stopped. At the stop she was all well mannered and civilized. Why do people think they need to act a certain way when people are looking at them or when they think people are looking at them? And what was she singing? Do people change who they are for others to accept them? Do people become what they really want to be when they are alone in their cars on their way to work? Hmm. Like I said, I put in a little to much thought.
I wondered if the business man next to me in his luxury car was listening to rap. Maybe the guy in the low-rider wearing a backwards visor two cars ahead was playing some good old country tunes. Or the prom queen pulling up had on Gwar? I know the football guy knew all the words to "My Heart Will Go On" His mouth was moving way to slow. Whatever they were doing, it all stopped when people could see.
Then I wondered about myself. I did the same thing as all the others. I stopped my car, my singing and my eating at the light, put both hands on the wheel and just concentrated on the light turning green. Then I did something no commuter has done before.
In the middle of the red light, I turned up my ABBA CD, grabbed a handful of Kashi (nasty but good for you) chewed, danced and sang my heart out to "Dancing Queen". I continued this until I parked my car at work and started my day. I could of cared less of who was looking. I was enjoying my morning and it made my day a whole lot better. I just hope tomorrow someone will join me at the red light, bust out and sing and dance a little and enjoy themselves outside the car.
Wash, rinse and repeat.
I did a really dumb thing and before you make fun of me, I know you've done it too.
I washed my cell phone with my laundry.
It was just another Sunday. Jeff went to the office for a few hours to catch up on some work, so I thought I would catch up on some house work, like laundry.
For starters, I hate doing laundry. I'll do anything but wash clothes. Laundry is Jeff's job. So I thought I'll be a good wife and help out my husband and do his chore.
My idea of laundry is to wash everything on delicate in cold water. I don't do a white load or colors, I don't iron and I don't check the pockets. I just dump it in the washer, throw in some soap and crank it up.
After an hour, I went in the garage to load the dryer. I did one last check to make sure the washer was empty and BAM, there's my phone. Dead, full of water. I dround it. I'm a murderer.
I called the cell phone place to see what my options were. After finding out we did not purchase insurance, my option was to buy a new phone. That sucked. It sucked even more when I had to explain it to the dealer.
I waited and waited. Listened to a family who walked in right before me not understanding the phone plans or what the features were on the phones, how minutes worked and just when I was saying to myself that some people are to stupid to own a cell phone I reminded myself that I washed mine. For the love of God, I had a fifteen minute issue, these people were going to take forever. Then another phone agent was free to help.
After I was laughed at, was told the importance of buying insurance and to check my pockets before laundry, I walked out with a new phone, at full price. You get a deal on your phone when you buy a plan but when you kill your phone and have to replace it, thats when it hurts. They kept my old phone to show customers and coworkers. They couldn't believe that a phone could hold so much water and smell so April fresh.
I felt like and ass. How could I have washed my phone? But I did and now it's gone forever. But now I have a new and shiny phone charging as we speak. I think Jeff will fold the clothes. I'm afraid of what else will fall out of the pockets.
Stripper Shoes
I saw a person in the bank today that freaked me out. This woman who interviewed me for a job when I was unemployed came in.
This is no classy lady. This woman wears STRIPPER SHOES!
Months ago I interviewed at this marketing company. All was going well until the lady I had to meet came up to the reception area. She was about 50, had Dolly Parton hair, wore a tight brown polyester pant suit and had on STRIPPER SHOES.
I couldn't keep my eyes off her shoes. They were clear acrylic platform with a clear acrylic 6" heel. The clear plastic straps around her ankles were cutting off the circulation so her feet were turning purple and her blue painted nails with funk underneath were just wrong.
She greeted me with her yellow teeth, 40" cleavage and chunky eye makeup. I could see her cottage cheese ass through her pants. But I couldn't tear myself away from her STRIPPER SHOES!
Lets just say they interview lasted a whole twenty minutes with my eyes fixed on her feet. There was no way I was going to work for Ms. Stripper Shoes no matter how much the offer was. I just wanted to get out of there and away from her shoes. I may have been unemployed, but if I was going to work with people who wore stripper shoes, I would have grabbed a pole somewhere else and pocket the cash.
So I saw her today. I went to lunch just in time so I didn't have to help her and her STRIPPER SHOES! Freaking STRIPPER SHOES!
Just Say No
I read the comments regarding my reunion. You're right. I shouldn't go. The biggest reason why is this. When I emailed the person who is organizing it my updated information, I got a response email from her that was so nasty. In her exact words, "Maiden name, Faust?" This is a girl I have known since elementary school. What a bitch. My reply was simply, "Yes." I'm not going. I have better things to do. And no, I won't regret it.
The rest of this blog is dedicated to Kane. Kane is mine and Jeff's trainer at the gym. I told him about the blog and he was excited and wanted to be mentioned. Kane is great (and I'm not saying this because of the blog). He does a great job with me and Jeff and he knows not to make me run. So Kane, this one's for you.
KANE ROCKS ROCK HARD ABS!
Get it? Ha Ha Ha.
That's all for now. Jeff is watching season 7 of Friends on DVD. I'm going to join him with Larry and Cav. With a plate of cookies and milk. Sorry Kane.
Reunion?
I got the invite for my ten year high school reunion. Should I go? I'm torn.
P.s. Thanks Chris. Now I'm addicted to the BLOGGER! There's a room waiting for me at Promises.
Coupons!
Okay, now I have something to gripe about. Jeff and I went to a well known clothing store this weekend and used our well known store credit card for the purchase. Now, this well known store was offering a savings that you could only get in the mail if you were a card holder. We went shopping, spent $200.00 on crap, and when we were checking out, we realized we left the coupon at home. Nicely, Jeff asked the girl if we could still get the discount even though we left the voucher at home, keeping in mind that only card holders could get them and we were using our card. Denied. After the purchase, we got a coupon for X amount of dollars off our next visit since we spent more that $50.00. We asked, in a joking sort of way, if the girl could throw in an extra one or two since we dropped $200.00. Denied. Is this good customer service? We're freaking card holders!
At our gym, I went to purchase our supplements. The girls at the register asked me if I had a trainer, and If so do I have my discount card for shop purchases. I told her I didn't have a card but I do have a trainer, and she informed me that if I just signed up for a trainer that we should have recieved one. I told her that we have had a trainer for over a year and that we probably didn't qualify since we weren't new clients, and that's okay. She just looked at me as if after a year my average chubby body should be ripped by now and just bagged up my purchases. Should my gym offer this discount to all clients who have a trainer and keep renewing? Trainers aren't cheap kids. Any discount helps.
Bottom line is that if you are a loyal customer that has the store credit card or meets all the criteria for a stupid discount, shouldn't you just get it immediatly when you are rung up at the register. Shouldn't your credit card or membership card qualify you for whatever the deal is? Why do we need all these cards and coupons? Save a tree!
There you go.
First Week at Work!
Well, I survived my first week at my new job with my new bank. For those of you who don't know, I worked for a very large bank for about five years and then took at position with a new art gallery opening in Orlando. That lasted a whole two months. To keep it short, I hated it and the people who are there can roll naked in my dooky until their eyes turn yellow.
My new bank is great. My branch is about ten minutes from my house and vet (very important). The people are great and I feel that justice has been served. Don't get me wrong, old bank was very good to me, but I think new bank will be better.
So life is good. Jeff and I spent our week working, going to the gym, getting our HAIR DID (very ghetto), attented a fundraiser and then spent our Saturday doing what we love to do most. Movies, lunch and shopping! Ah, to have a job again so I can enjoy the guilty pleasures of life such as banana cake and clothes.
Our boys are good. Cavanaugh, our dog, is just as cranky as ever. Larry, the cat, has developed a taste for tilapia. He is a very healty cat.
So that is it for this week. Not a whole lot going on. Life is good. I have a new job, a great man and good friends. Yada yada, yada. Don't worry, I'll gripe about something on my next blog.
P.s. I hope I did the whole "Don't mention any names of people or places for the threat of being sued" okay.
Hello! I'm Loren and I'm making my first post to the web. Just so you know, I have a very sexy husband, a fat and cranky Scotty dog, a clearly insane cat, a tree hugging sister and inlaws who can fix anything and like to drive trucks. I also have ultra sexy friends who helped me set up this page.
Just so you know, I have never had my own web page before. Any suggestions would be welcome. Don't tell me my page sucks and go to hell. However, I just set this up, so you will need to wait a few days for all the computers in the world to figure out that this website exists. So that should give you plenty of time to think of something, and I'll let you know when you can reply.
Having your own website is pretty bitchin. I suggest it to anyone who has a friend that has the patience for the computer stupid, to set one up for them.
